We all want to be liked, as it’s just basic human nature. Thankfully, there is a science to communication, spanning the spectrum from non-verbals to linguistics and more, so we have proven strategies that will help you instantly gain likeability, wherever and however you choose to use them.
In part one of this blog, we covered 7 communication hacks that will instantly get people to like you. We’ll cover the remaining 8 amazing communication hacks here:
8. Use open and inviting body language
Whether you first meet someone or you’ve known them for years, the subtle cues and signals you give off when interacting make a big difference in your likability. So if you want to foster trust and connection, use open body language. This includes keeping your arms out (not folded, or with hands in your pocket), keep your legs wide (not crossed or indicating a defensive or fleeing posture), and make sure to keep not only your eyes and head, but your whole torso directly aligned with the person you’re talking to.
You should also keep your hands open and palms visible, which instinctually creates trust. That’s why many companies and retail stores, such as LEGOLAND, have a strict policy that you must always greet customers with open hands, but never point.
9. Ask them about themselves
Everyone’s favorite topic is themselves! No matter who they are, where they are in life, or what their current state of mind, triggering a conversation about something in their life (and especially appearance!) will draw them closer.
If you’re meeting someone for the first time, whether in a social situation or in a business context, try identifying one of their passions or beloved habits and ask them about it – and watch how comfortable they instantly become!
10. Don’t fidget
When people are nervous or outside of their comfort zone, it’s a physiological reaction to start fidgeting, squirming, twitching, or scratching. But doing so will make you appear less confident and less credible, even subconsciously. Stay calm, cool, and collected, look at someone in the eyes – but naturally – and avoid common nervous “tells,” like scratching your neck, touching your nose, or playing with your hair when you’re talking to someone. At first, this will take a little practice, but pretty soon it will be second nature.
11. Did someone do you a favor? Studies show they actually like you even more because of it
We often are reticent to ask for help or favors from someone, especially complete strangers. But research shows that when someone does you a favor – or even considers it – they’ll like you more for it. That’s because they unconsciously justify why they’re willing to help you, assigning you positive traits and imagining a connection that isn’t reflected in reality – yet.
12. Nodding your head and other social affirmations
If you want someone to like you, node your head and make other signals of acknowledgment while they’re talking. Nod subtly, verbalize that you’re listening, ask a question or two, and even repeat key parts of the conversation, and you’ll be amazed how positive they feel about your chat. These are all social affirmations, which convey that you believe, respect, and agree with their messages, making you far more charismatic in their eyes.
13. People remember unfinished…
Interestingly, people remember communication messages that are cut off early or aren’t finished at higher rates than those that are completed. Called the Zeigarnik effect, advertisers, marketers, and behavioral psychologists are using this trick everywhere, but you probably don’t even notice. You can use this tip to get someone’s attention and ensure that they remember you, possibly by telling them that you have a great story for them later on, a joke without a punchline yet, or letting them know that you want to tell them something important, like…
14. People are drawn to energy, excitement, and enthusiasm!
The person with the highest energy level usually “wins” any encounter, which means they win over the person/people they’re interacting with. There are several reasons for this phenomenon. First, we subconsciously mirror the behavior around us, so just being in the presence of a high-energy person (when it’s positive!) lifts our energy and mood, too.
Additionally, to be frank, people are often tired and bored with their day-to-day lives, so any spark or jolt is welcomed. We also have incredibly short attentions spans these days, and people who are noticeable, interesting, and remarkable certainly catch our attention – and our admiration.
15. Simply be available
What’s your most attractive trait? Believe it or not, it’s probably your availability. While that may not sound seductive, research shows that if someone perceives you as available, they will find you more attractive and be drawn to you. But that doesn’t just mean showing up physically – you have to demonstrate that you’re in the moment and focused on that other person.
That could mean having time to spend with them, communicating efficiently, or being emotionally open for family, close friends, or relationship partners. On the dating scene, being perceived as physically available can win someone over because they unconsciously judge you as a potential mate. In business, however, it’s economic and intellectual availability that’s attractive, as we all want to work and do business with people who want to do the same with us.